Aries March 21 - April 19
Stop smoking! There is a sign says "Stop Smoking"
Taurus April 20 - May 20
Learn martial arts, you might need it, because someone is following you.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Turn off the light before you have sex with your wife it can help a lot.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
Try to lose your friend his not friendly anymore.
Leo July 23 - August 22
Your having a bad day, and a friend will give you a deodorant to solve the problem.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Its your lucky day! You will not hit by a car today
Libra September 23 - October 22
You'll forgot to wear your underwear, because your girlfriend's husband is down stairs.
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
Your trying to lose weight today, maybe tomorrow, next week?, next year?
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
An office mate will approach you and ask Are you pregnant?
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You'll meet the girl of your dreams... In your dreams...
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
You can't open the door you have the right key but wrong house.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
You'll have a free groceries today from chinese supermarket.