Horoscope Twenty Two

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

What would men(you) be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

Always behave like a duck — keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

Your success has allowed you to strike out with a higher class of
women.

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

If only God would give you a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in your name at a Swiss bank.

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

You want your children to have all the things you couldn't afford. Then you want to move in with them.

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

Drinking removes warts and pimples.
Not from you. But from those you look at.

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20


Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't.