Horoscope Twenty Four

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Between two evils, you always pick the one you never tried before.

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

In your house you're the boss, your wife is just the decision maker.

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20

You love deadlines. You especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.


This Makes My Day said...

Wow, very funny this horoscope!! Thank you for posting your horoscopes! Very interesting website.

Caleb said...

Uh...I'm an Aquarious with no wife,so what's my horoscope now :?:

hitsu said...

I like these Naruto images. It's cute :)