Funny Horoscope Nineteen

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

Life is a game, whoever has the most money at the end wins.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

When you read about the evils of drinking, you gave up reading.

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

Your life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. You've been trying to hide from it since You was five, but the girls keep finding you.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one.

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

When you was born you was so surprised you didn't talk for a year and a half.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

Laugh and the world laughs with u,cry and the world laughs louder.

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

You're the person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20


You are living so far beyond your income that you may almost be said to be living apart.