Horoscope Twenty Seven

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

You ain't sleeping. You're just taking a good look at the insides of your eyelids.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

Why don't you learn from my mistakes? It takes half your life to learn from your own

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

By the time you're ready to admit you've reached middle age, you're beyond it."

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

Free advice is the kind that costs you nothing unless you act upon it.

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

You want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Only two things are necessary to keep your wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it."

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

It is necessary for you to establish a winner image. Therefore, you have to beat somebody

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

You was married by a judge. You should have asked for a jury

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am dreaming.