Horoscope Twenty Six

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

You almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left you before you've met.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

Your conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

Half the people you know are below average.

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

If you're living life on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitelt isn't for you.

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

You shouldn't be having S-E-X around the B-A-B-I-E!

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20

Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!