Horoscope Twenty Three

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't.

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

You are nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore, you must be perfect!"

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

You can see clearly now, the brain has gone.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Your friend is someone who's there when he needs you"

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

Your woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

Only one man ever understood you, and he didn't understand you.

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20


You spent 90% of your money on women and drink. The rest you wasted.