Horoscope 15

Horoscope for Aries March 21 - April 19

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

Horoscope for Taurus April 20 - May 20

Love to live

Horoscope for Gemini May 21 - June 21

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

Horoscope for Cancer June 22 - July 22

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Horoscope for Leo July 23 - August 22

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher

Horoscope for Virgo August 23 - September 22

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Horoscope for Libra September 23 - October 22

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

Horoscope for Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Better late than pregnant.

Horoscope for Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

when all else fails, follow instruction.

Horoscope for Capricorn December 22 - January 19

Remember as far as anyone knows, you have a nice normal family

Horoscope for Aquarius January 20 - February 18

Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English

Horoscope for Pisces February 19 - March 20


You know, you are not born with a soul. You earn it with suffering, hard work and prayer. Which hopefully you did last night